52 Comments
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Parker McCoy's avatar

Gravity as proof of your struggle

Against the weight of your doubt.

Excellent line.

Aaronthewriter1 ✍️'s avatar

This carried me through the vastness of space while reflecting something deeply human—the weight of choice, doubt, and the moments when we feel trapped inside ourselves. I especially felt the truth in the ending: sometimes countless possibilities remain before us, but eventually we must decide where to place our attention and take the next step.

Even the darkest inner void can become a place of rebirth when we stop waiting for circumstance to choose for us. Perhaps the way forward is not always revealed before we move; sometimes the path becomes visible because we finally choose to walk it. Powerful, layered, and beautifully written, my friend. 🤍✨🌌

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Aaron!

Aaronthewriter1 ✍️'s avatar

Anytime my Brother Peace be with you!!! ✨🙏

MoTy's avatar

10/10, that’s all I’m saying x

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you for reading!

David O'Boyle's avatar

exceptional piece. I love when I read a work that has depth and accessible language yet also has enough stuff, though not an overwhelming amount, that is unknown to me that I need to explore further. Textbook good writing.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you David!

Antonio Castellaneta's avatar

I found myself moving through this as if the cosmic scale were slowly becoming something deeply personal. The black hole, the quantum uncertainty, the branching paths — and then suddenly we are back inside ourselves, facing the one thing no universe can decide for us.

“But you must choose” was the turn that stayed with me. Perhaps uncertainty is not always the absence of a path. Sometimes it is simply the moment before we become responsible for one. Really enjoyed this, PancakeSushi.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Antonio!

Miles Hack's avatar

This took the heroes journey to a whole new level, amazing! 🤩

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Miles!

Chosen Quality Atelier's avatar

Even the deepest void has one weakness. It has never learned how to keep a star forever…

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you, for your food for thought!

Depth & Dagger's avatar

Such an amazing poet Mike!! Omg!! 🫠✨

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you!

Judith Gibson-Brooks's avatar

Interesting ( a mundane word) but this takes me down a different path than I usually travel. Causes me to stop and reflect (and sometimes figure it out)..Keep it coming.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Judith

pen n. bolsillo's avatar

🍄🍄🍄🍄

Eyes folded inward

Gravity

doubt

- - - -

stellar read.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Adrião Pereira da Cunha's avatar

The poem reads like someone trying to make sense of their own darkness by giving it the shape of a galaxy. That “well” feels less like a cosmic structure and more like a place inside the speaker where old wounds settle. I like how the imagery moves between science and myth, as if the mind is grasping for any language big enough to hold its confusion. There’s a raw loneliness in the lines about irrelevance, a kind of confession that doesn’t ask for pity. The whole piece circles around the idea of choice, and how terrifying it can be when every path feels equally uncertain. The quantum metaphors don’t feel decorative — they echo that paralysis we feel when life demands a decision. What struck me most is the sense that the universe won’t intervene; nothing will choose for you. The poem becomes, in the end, a quiet confrontation with the self, with doubt, with the weight of simply being alive. And that final thought about superposition waiting for you feels almost like a sigh — a reminder that even in the vastness of everything, you still have to decide where to look.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you, for always reading so deeply, and leaving a thoughtful comment APC

Rafa Joseph's avatar

I choose you, Pikachu! Err... Pancake. Another banger!

PancakeSushi's avatar

Hahaha thank you Rafa

Gaines Post's avatar

Nice one.

Claudia B.'s avatar

This piece beautifully captures the weight of being human, the uncertainty, the choices, and the search for meaning in the unknown. I think life is teaching us not to freeze in fear, but to move. Even small steps forward can be powerful.💕

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Claudia!

Claudia B.'s avatar

You’re welcome!💕

Douglas Wilton's avatar

Meanwhile back on Earth there is a man

who has not really heard

That life is short and death comes

without warning

Or he knows that these words are true

And he thinks yes this is true

So what?

Which means he has not truly understood

what these words mean

So thinks it does not matter how he passes

What may be the last moment of his life

But cannot simply stop thinking, writing

Cannot let his petty mind of words

Dissolve in the infinite silence

Thinks I think therefore I am so

If I stop thinking I am not

But the body is still here

Breathing in the ocean of silence

Waiting for petty mind to disappear

So that it can embody

Something little mind will never

Imagine

Before this wonderful new body also

Disappears

V S Uma's avatar

Brilliant piece . Loved reading this 👏👏👏

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you V S, I appreciate you reading!