38 Comments
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Sara da Encarnação's avatar

Brilliant.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Sara

Original Worlds (Ira Robinson)'s avatar

This is yet another absolutely excellent work from PancakeSushi .

It reminds me of a part of a lyric I wrote for my song, Don’t Breathe. I hope you don’t mind my sharing here…

I wish I knew what I could do

To make you know that I miss you

And even though you sit here every day

You've blocked yourself, no words you say

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Ira, I like your song, thank you for sharing it. You're always welcome to do so

Original Worlds (Ira Robinson)'s avatar

I appreciate that! Exile really did hit me.

C Simone's avatar

Heartfelt and so honest...wow

Dipti  Vyas's avatar

I’m split open where you ripped me at the seam.

You’ve captured that exact place between longing and reckoning, the tension of wanting someone close, and knowing the walls are theirs, not yours. The lines about “resident in limbo / emotionally akimbo”, that’s the gut-punch of truth.

It’s a piece that doesn’t just feel hurt, it catalogs it, frames it, and still lets it breathe. The bleed and the waiting, the echoes of what was, you don’t need to fix it, you need to sit in it, and you’ve done that brilliantly.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Dipti

Dorie Snow/雪多丽's avatar

Stunning, felt that deeply Mike.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Dorie

Mysteries and Cookies's avatar

Painfully beautiful 🤎

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Mysteries and Cookies

Bran Iberi's avatar

This is quite raw. Good art.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Bran

Maria Matheou's avatar

The loss and the pain in the words feels palpable.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Maria. It was

Dawn Run Intelligence's avatar

Very nice!! Great writing PS - brilliant bold and beautiful.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Clinton

Dawn Run Intelligence's avatar

Ofc my pleasure to read your post loving it! And also thank you so much for your support. You’re awesome.

AsukaHotaru's avatar

That last image, the bolt left in place like a souvenir you didn’t ask for, hit me right in the ribs... I hate how real that feels...

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Asuka

Mancee Elendew's avatar

Beautiful. Very REAL.

Wings of Malachite's avatar

Such pain is forever lodged, uncomfortably, silently "caged behind closed teeth". Reverberation of your torment received.

Wonderfully relayed, my friend. 🪶

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Dani

Michael Hatcher's avatar

Raw and emotional! Great job!

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Mike

Adrião Pereira da Cunha's avatar

This poem feels like someone trying to speak through a hurt that never really healed.

I can feel the tear at the seam that moment when something breaks and you’re left holding the pieces.

The silence you describe is heavy, the kind you keep because you think no one wants to hear your pain.

The questions about being too much or not enough hit in a very real, very human way.

There’s such an ache in missing someone’s smile and mind while still carrying the wound they left behind.

I love how you show both people hiding behind walls, thinking it protects them when it only deepens the distance.

The image of waiting outside someone’s emotional fortress is painfully vivid.

The bolts, the bleeding, the wondering it all makes the heartbreak feel physical.

That final truth you carry, the wound you refuse to erase, lingers long after the poem ends.

It reads like an exile not from a place, but from a person you still feel far too deeply.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you APC. She probably has a very different tale on this, admittedly, but what lays at the core is the same

Gary L Taylor's avatar

Really raw with an intense feeling of longing and regret running throughout. Powerful writing. I loved it.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Gary

A Writer’s Voice's avatar

So damn powerful, Mike. I love every word.

PancakeSushi's avatar

Thank you Chris